5 years ago I was a radically opposite human being. I only cared about my 10,000 limited edition ostrich hand bags and my 5 thousand dollar red bottom shoes. I stripped at the hottest club in Vegas and from the outside it looked as if I was living the dream. I partied for a living (and made shit tons of money), aesthetically fit a certain beauty ideal, and had nice luxurious things. I partied in Beverly Hills mansions and drank 100 thousand dollar bottles of Ace of Spaces champagne. I believed glamor ,money, and partying were the ingredients to winning the jackpot good life.
From the time I was a wee little girl I was obsessed with this life. I was obsessed with the life style of the rich and famous and watched shows like the Hills and Keeping up with the Kardashians on repeat. My dream was to become a playboy model and meet a rich hunky husband. I was so distracted in the external world that I had no idea who I really was. I had no idea what my soul really wanted.
So many humans go their entire life without examining what they really want, what their soul really wants. It is as if humanity is on some endless race to nowhere- a destination addiction. It is constantly striving but never arriving. We are like track runners on a race running towards a finish line just to find out the tape we were trying to break was an illusion and we have to keep running. We keep breaking tape just to find out the race doesn’t end. We reach a point of mere exhaustion exclaiming, “I AM OVER THIS, PLEASE HELP ME!”
The addiction to more keeps us distracted from what really matters the most-becoming a better human being- living through higher virtues, living through love. Happiness Shawn Achor defines happiness as, “The joy one feels striving for one’s potential” When I was running the race I never thought about my potential. I placed my ‘potential’ in things outside of myself and how others were perceiving me. The person, thing, and money was my God. I believed they were the golden ticket to make me feel enough, to fill in the bloody gaping wound within my soul.
One evening I arrived home from a shopping trip with a sugar daddy. He bought me over ten thousand dollars of new designer things and handed me ten thousand in cash. I never felt so empty in my life. I chucked the money at the floor and began to scream, “IF THIS IS THE GOOD LIFE KILL ME NOW. THERE HAS TO BE MORE MEANING THEN THIS!”
From this moment on my life started to shift. Slowly but surely I fell madly in love with my higher power, which I call it God(ess). The only reason I wake up inspired to take on another day is because I can’t wait to get to know my higher power more intimately. I am obsessed with the mystery of my God(ess) potential and exploring the depths of who I really am. Every morning and evening I get on my knees and pray, ‘Thy will be done, thy will is yours. Please teach me who you would have me be. Please help me see from your eyes, think your thoughts, and love from your heart. Please teach me how to become myself. Take over me.”
5 years ago I had no passions besides doing drugs and looking hot. The thought of changing my life felt as if I was holding my breath underneath water because I didn’t believe there was any gifts inside of me. I thought I had nothing to offer to the world besides my body. I didn’t know how to care about anything, so I began to care like a mother effer about the one thing which matters most- God(ess).
God(ess) taught me how to open up the portal of my heart, the golden bridge to magic and transformation. It taught me how to fall in love with myself, others, and ultimately the world. Our human selves don’t know how to live with passion when feeling dead inside. God(ess) is the moisture of the fertile soil within our soul. It is the life force which allows the hidden seeds planted deep within our being to blossom with vibrant aliveness.
So many of us have no idea what the seeds of our soul are because we are so attached to the image of what we think we want, what society tells us will make us happy. The question is : Will more money, cars, designer hand bags, plastic surgery really really make you happy ? Will it really bring meaning into your life? Will it really fill you up leaving you content and at peace? (take a deep breath, pause, and a moment to contemplate this)
The good life isn’t about getting more, it is about becoming more. What we all desire is to live a life fueled by purpose. We all want to feel like we are here for a reason and know we are making a difference. We all want to know we matter. We all want to feel loved and extend love.There is another way to life that will bring forth all of what we really desire, that way is surrender. There is a good life at our fingertips. The entry code is, ‘Thy will be done, thy will is yours sweet Beloved’.
Call to action :
If you are ready to cross the bridge into a whole new world I can help you my love. I have been in the other world and know what it feels like to be stuck. I am a 1:1 inner beauty coach and gate keeper who will walk with you side by side towards a life beyond your wildest dreams. Please reach out to me if you are feeling the call to explore more. I offer complimentary discovery calls!