Resistance. Rawr. That icky feeling of the body tensing up so tight that the muscles feel like they could explode. The ego has it’s sharp class against the chalkboard. In these moments there is nothing I want to do more than surrender to the ego, run home get in bed, and numb out to Netflix- because counteracting the ego seems just too painful.
I hate to break it to you- the only thing we can do to heal resistance is to just do it. Just do whatever it is that we are resisting, and forgive ourselves if we do not. The antidote to resistance is willingness and action. It is taking that next best action no matter how heavy, irritating, or uncomfortable it might be. Character is built from one action after the next. We decide who we want to be in this present action. The Buddha states that in each moment we are are born again, what we choose right now is what really matters.
We heal one moment and action at a time. If we choose to avoid and dodge whatever it is that we are resisting, then the lingering pain will still be there in 5 minutes from now and tomorrow. Our ego’s are not easy- not one bit! Our ego’s are like a little toddler that is throwing a temper tantrum and is dying to be loved. Our ego’s are an ancient thought system that is based on fear. When we are caught in resistance the darkness is legitimately resisting the light. In ACIM it states “Love will enter any immediately into any mind that truly wants it, but it must truly want it.”
Humans are so resilient. The Spirit IS resilience because the Spirit is always alive and shining no matter how far we might venture from the awareness of it. We can shift out of low energetic states quickly if we endow the dedicated efforts. In ACIM it states, “Consider how much vigilance you have been willing to exert to protect your ego and how little to protect your right mind. You can be as vigilant against the ego’s dictates as for them.”
It does not matter how off we felt in the last connection we had. It does not matter how much social anxiety we might experience. It does not matter how itchy our skin feels. It does not matter how much we want to curl up in a ball because of our heavy emotions and say fuck it all. None of this matters. What matters the most is counteracting the resistance to rise into the light by just doing it, just taking the next best action.
One day last year I felt incredibly trapped in a state of depression. The evening prior, I came home from a social interaction and felt so awkward and uncomfortable in my own skin. When I was younger I used to binge and purge when I was feeling heavy emotions. This evening I binged for the first time in a couple years. I did not purge, but I felt like I could have died from all the shame I was feeling. I woke up the next morning feeling like a zombie glued to my bed. I couldn’t muster the energy to get up and meditate and when I got the cue to make a phone call to a mentor/friend, my phone felt like it was 2,000 pounds. I knew I had to do something. I knew I had to take the next best action to counteract the resistance I was feeling towards life. I ended up going to a 12 step meeting,I still felt like shit after, but I knew it did something. It was my first medicine of the day. I came home and went back to bed. After a couple of hours I knew I had to take more medicine even though the resistance was so heavy, I literally felt like I could not move. I ended up making a phone call to a friend and decided to meet up with them 2 hours later. From there I got up, began to clean, did some laundry, and finally gained enough momentum to get in the shower. I was beginning to feel like a new woman just from those few steps! After meeting up with my friend it felt like I did a 180 and by the next day I was feeling alive once again.
This is it sweet angels! We are going to make mistakes. We are going to have awkward encounters. We are going to close our hearts off and react. We are going to feel like our lower selves here and there. We must accept this now, it is inevitable while we are on this planet. We are humans! What makes us so much more than humans is our radical willingness and determination to just do it, to take the next best action, to take our soul medicine- this is our Spirit in works! In ACIM it states, “The habit of engaging with God is made if you actively refuse to let your mind slip away. The problem is not of concentration, it is the belief that you are not worth consistent effort. There is no limit to the power of a Son of God, but he can limit the expression of his power as much as he chooses.”
We are not expected to be ‘perfect’. Having this expectation will set us up for much suffering. What we can aim for however is to live life one action at a time, trusting our Higher Power will carry us the rest of the way. We can be gentle when we want to shame ourselves for how much we perceive to suck, and know that it is okay to not feel okay. It does not matter how often we do not feel okay, that is irrelevant. What does matter is what we choose to do in this moment to recenter ourselves in Spirit and come home to truth. After time, after enough actions, we become so strong in knowing who we are and how to respond to resistance, that taking the next best action becomes muscle memory, we know that this is the only way out.
Be gentle with yourself today. Resistance is a bitch. It is a game of playing tug and pull with the darkness against the light. If we allow the light to take the reigns by just doing it, the light will always conquer all. As Jesus states in ACIM, “Your mind will elect to join with mine and together we are invincible.”
Label resistance when it shows up.
Ask what the next best action you can take is.
Only focus on one action at a time.
Be gentle on yourself, remind yourself it is okay to not feel okay.
What step do you need to heal resistance today?
If you have resistance to take this step, what can you do for yourself so that you can just do it?
Please share below on the comments! I would love to hear: )
Also: I am offering 1:1 coaching services for half off right now! Please check out my coaching services page if you are called to have a personal guide through this journey and please sign up for my complimentary shifting suffering into purpose training!